You have to let your kids go.

When I was in labour with my girls the thought that one day they would be all grown up and leaving the family home never crossed my mind. Between birth and heading off to university might seem a long time but realistically it is not. There is so much you have to do and so much you need to teach your kids before they take their first step to being independent. So many important chats you need to get in before that very departure day. Which if you are in the UK, its going to be September ish.

Nothing really prepared me for when daughter number one left for Uni. She had always been really independent but we were as close as two peas in a pod and I was pretty sure nothing would ever break that bond. When daughter number one and I (Number one because she is the oldest and first born) was driving off to her Uni Halls we went in two cars as she was taking her whole life with her. Be warned, your child’s bedroom at home will be left so empty and this just adds to the fact that they are not there anymore. I remember saying our “Goodbyes” and fighting back the tears. Remembering, “Hey this isn’t so bad as daughter number two isn’t leaving for at least three years” Three years?? If Eighteen years can go quickly, three years will be gone in a blink of an eye. Guess what? I blinked and here I am three years later and daughter number two is heading off to uni in September. Now I am quite lucky in the sense that I still have my husband home, he doesn’t go away often as he is a teacher. But saying that, I have always had someone to have my dinner with on those parents evenings that gets him home at 9 pm. I have always had someone to watch a DVD with and eat snacks with when he has gone off on his Christmas works party without me.

So, here’s the thing. I am in my 40’s.  Life is different now. The world is moving at a faster pace from what is was when I was 18. Opportunities to further my Education was very restricted for me. In fact it wasn’t really an option. Financially my parents were not in a position to help me and I was very much from a generation and a time where you left school and got a job. Something which now I feel is unheard of. Something which If I am blatantly honest, I really don’t want my girls to do. University I see is full of opportunities. It is a life lesson. A time where you learn about the world you live through the eyes of a young adult. It is most importantly a time where you learn about yourself. You discover your weaknesses but most importantly your strengths. You learn to live without your parents. They no longer make the rules, you do.

I am a firm believer that if you naturally release your children from your apron strings that they will always find their way back home to you. This big world full of adventure, fun and opportunity is calling their name and what parent wouldn’t want their child to experience that. So here goes, September I would have bought every single box of Waitrose tissues that they have on their shelves. I will try not to use one until my daughter has gone. I will drop my daughter off at Uni with a massive smile on my face. The world is hers for the taking. Inside I will be a mess. But it is a mess that I will in time adjust to.

Mum in the modern world

(For my daughter Hollie)